PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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