Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
