just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
No stitches, just platelets and will power
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
