i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize