it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I had to cum in my sink.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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