exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
