You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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