he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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