Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
All I want is dick and wine.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize