yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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