While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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