I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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