How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
