If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
