there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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