I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
we should paint friendship bongs
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
