I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
