he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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