I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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