You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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