is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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