You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
