I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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