Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize