You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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