I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
