READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
