when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
