We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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