She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Its about making memories worth repressing
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize