well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
