...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I got chris browned last night
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
