Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize