:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
