So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
