i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
