we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
