Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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