Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
