Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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