were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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