the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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