Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize