whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
