So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
