i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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