Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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