Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
