dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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