idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
