Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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