Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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