My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize