In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
dude. I can hear the air.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
