when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
